On Semantics (#1: Systems)

Over dinner tonight, my father disagreed with my use of the word 'system' to describe our military and the global method used by nations to sometimes settle disputes (more specifically, war). At first I was surprised and would have inquired about his objection further, but these days dad tends to steer clear from conflict in discussions regarding politics. He had already changed the subject by the time I thought to ask, "What word would you use?"

During our ride home, I realized that our disagreement was probably more one of semantics rather than an actual disagreement (although I'll never know as I can't imagine that we'll revisit the conversation). There is a very good chance that my father interprets the word 'system' differently than I do, and that if we had identified a more concise definition rather than relying on a word, which can have different meanings to both of us, we might have come to a better understanding of the other's' view.

So many arguments can be started by misunderstandings. Arguments can be avoided if we take the time to communicate our thoughts or arguments clearly, or prevent ourselves from jumping to conclusions... using our own meanings to blanketly interpret another's words, instead of really trying to understand what the person is trying to say.

So the following is my part of the conversation I wish I could have had with dad.

Some things never change.

Like many I know, I love Matthew Weiner's Mad Men. I love the analysis of gender issues in the series, the portrayal of the different eras, the character development (it is so crazy that they help us find a way to sympathize with even the biggest douchebags) and looking at time periods usually idealized through less forgiving eyes.

Two Christmases ago I gave my parents the first two seasons of Mad Men. I am thrilled that they love the show as much as I do and love hearing their reactions to the show.

However, I do not think I will ever, ever feel comfortable sitting through sex scenes with my parents. Ever.

A piece of a part of the process

When I was a kid I believed that being an adult would be cool because adults had everything figured out. Transitioning from child- to adulthood would be a categorical shift, fundamentally different, and, once reached, a state of easier living characterized by knowing how to handle challenges as they arose. Although being that together seemed intimidating as I was a somewhat fearful child and couldn't imagine how one achieved that adulthood togetherness, I looked forward to the shift because hey- who wouldn't want to be that contained, composed, and confident.

Graduate school relieved me of that delusion. College was fun for me, and my first true academic challenge was getting accepted into a Ph.D. clinical psychology program (a tough life pursuit, by the way... I'm not sure I'd recommend it). Once I enrolled in my graduate program, though, I figured my academic pursuits would be a downhill stroll.

They weren't...